So… is this the life of a person in a design/art/fashion/clothing industry? If this is it, then I’m in it.
Coming from the Math Program, I used to spend tons of hours staying up just to figure out how to solve problems and memorize formulas. After doing the capsule collection, I realized it isn’t that different.
In both programs, we solve problems. We consider the circumstances, the variables, and the needs. We also consider the debatable and non-debatable. Both aims to look for solutions. Both uses different methods to come up with the answer, but the goal is just the same: to solve the problem.
But the difference is in me. Yes, I am afraid of art blocks, of having to look for tons of swatches, or being not original, or of running out of ideas. I am even afraid of not having any job. But then again, this is something I’d really like to do. I love the rush. I love the last-minute final touches. I love the adrenaline when you’ve finally imagined and drawn what you want. I love this kind of pressure – it’s the only kind of pressure that doesn’t cause me to break down. It’s the only kind of pressure I want to live with, even if it’s hard to cope up with it.
In the future, I would want to tell this story. The story of my first ever capsule collection. I’ll tell my friends and even future clients of the consultations – my fear of consulting, even – of the rejections and revisions that I did through the help of my professor. I would tell my future interns how I shyly asked a friend’s mom, who also happened to be a designer, for advises and swatches. I’d tell my future kids how happy I was being in their house/office, searching for swatches I’d needed. I’ll tell them that everything was just by faith, from the start up until this moment.
Honestly, I never thought I’d enjoy designing, but indeed, just as the process is painful, there’s a certain joy seeing you made it through. That’s why I’m thinking things now, and maybe – just maybe – I’d also go into designing. I’m hoping that I’ll upcycle better once I really practice and study designing better.
And when things get tough, when I find myself getting lost or having problems in this journey in this industry, I’d recall my first capsule collection. I no longer mind what grade I’ll get, honestly. The most important part is that I made it. I made the first one, and it is true that the first one is the hardest. It is the most dreadful – the one that makes you feel lost. But I did it. And I am thrilled to make a lot more and to learn a lot more.
And yes, this is THE life I was called to live.