I have nowhere to run to. ūüė¶

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Somehow, I hope that no one will ever notice. So I can go in peace. But there’s a possibility that I may cause my loved ones to experience pain, and that they might blame themselves. I don’t want that.

Cutting Ties

You know, there are people I can just cut my ties with if I decide to do it now… and to be fully honest, sometimes that’s the easiest option.

We’d rather run away than try to deal with things. We’d rather stay in our comfort zone than allow things to stretch us and refine our character. We’d¬†rather choose to leave than stay if it’s of¬†an inconvenience to our ego. More often than not, being apathetic is way easier than allowing ourselves to be involved.

That’s why I want to stay. I don’t want to run away anymore. I’m sick and tired of saying, “I’m not confrontational,” or “I’m really just like this. I’m not good with¬†relationships,” and many other excuses. I want to grow. I want to know what I can improve on. I want to change. So today, I’m deciding to stay. I’m leaving my excuses behind, no matter how valid I deem them to be.

I stay in those relationships for His name and His glory, even if it’s hard and painful sometimes. I believe that relationships are the most efficient avenue for our character’s rough edges to come out, and they’re also the most efficient avenue for our character’s rough edges to be refined. So, I never cut ties with people no matter how “bad” I (and even other people) think they are, for I know that in reality, I am the worst of all sinners. I, too, am not perfect though I am being perfected in Christ. It is only by His grace that I am able to do “good” things. Indeed, everything good in me is God in me.

I stand firm in this. I hold on to grace, forgiveness, mercy, lovingkindness, endurance,  faith, love, and hope, for I know that great is our Reward when we get to meet our Father in heaven.

Oh, how I long for Him to say to me, “Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!”

Someday… someday.